Exercise and a Bonus Mystery

I'm still working out, which itself counts as progress with me. However, there seems to be a mystery at hand.

1) I'm sleeping horribly because I can't seem to get comfortable at night. As a result, I don't really feel human any more.

2) Much of the initial pain has subsided into a deep-seated stiffness throughout my back, legs, and arms. I'm still mobile, but I move with slow, jerky motions.

3) I spend a lot of time moaning and groaning over my general discomfort.

4) My tennis shoes are now so pungent they have developed a life of their own, and the fumes envelope me where ever I go.

Hmm . . . not quite human, stiff/jerky movements, moans and groans, and smells bad . . . I think I have it . . .

I'm a member of the living dead!

Dammit, I knew I had legitimate objections to working out. Readers, SAVE YOURSELVES! DON'T GET TRAPPED! IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME!

Actually, I think I'm finally getting some pecs. Maybe I'll stick with it a bit longer . . .