I used to think I was a wit; it turns out I was only half right.
FOREMAN, ARK.--A 38-year-old Winthrop, Ark. man was hospitalized after jumping out the passenger window of a vehicle traveling an estimated 55 to 60 mph to retrieve his cigarette late Saturday, an official said. . .Stop smoking? This episode should make him stop drinking!
"If anything could make him stop smoking, this should be it. The man is lucky to be alive," said Gravier.
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Surprised, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. "Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my cabin in the country, the grass is almost a foot high."
Series
Have you been obscurely illuminated lately?
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