World Leaders Vote for U.S. President

John Kerry once made the claim that he had the backing of several world leaders but refused to name them. Extrapolating the data from press releases and other public statements, Newsmax has determined the leanings of several world leaders in the referenced article.

[Insert announcer’s voice here]

In the right corner, weighing in with a governorship and a battle-tested presidency, is current President George W. Bush. Behind President Bush you can see banners flying in the hands of representatives from Japan, Australia, Russia, Italy, and (rather quietly) Great Britain.

In the left corner, bolstered with an ineffectual, mostly absentee U.S. Senate record spanning more than two decades and a frequently questioned and contested military record in Vietnam, is Senator John F. Kerry. Senator Kerry is surrounded by enthusiastic supporters from North Korea, Cuba, and the Palestinian Authority. France and Germany are not visible but are strongly suspected to be hiding in the curtains near the left corner as well.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but if North Korea, Cuba, and the Palestinian Authority are endorsing someone or something, it just can’t be good for the U.S. and its allies.